I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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