There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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