Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
