So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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