He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
