He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I pour the whiskey from now on
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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