wat bout pragnant strippers??
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
