Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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