I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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