she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
