he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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