i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
