She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
