I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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