But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
