that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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