I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Enjoy the penises
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
