It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
