So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
