I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
