a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
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