maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
