Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
