Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
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I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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