i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
