I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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