Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
