Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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