You're so nebulous sometimes
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
