Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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