Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
