If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Holy sore nipples Batman
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
