just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
