I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
