Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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