just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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