Your face is a jimmy john
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
