I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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