gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
