You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
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