addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
