ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Help me help you realize you are a moron
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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