It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
