so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
