All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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