Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
