He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize