it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
