It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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