Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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